Mohini POV 

I am numb right now. I could not take the pain anymore. 

In front of my eyes those horrible moments flash. The panic and fear on his face moments before he saved me. 

He didn't even think twice before taking those arrows for me. 

And here I was going to destroy one person who is ready to take arrows to save me. 

Dada can also do for me but out of love because he is brother and he is expected to do it. 

But Yuvraj wasn't. I lean my head against the wall of palaquin, silently crying. 

I pray to Bappa, 

I will not ask for anything just save him. Please Bappa, Please. I will not ask for anything, I promise. 

Bacha lo na Bappa, (Save him, Lord) please, please please please. Aap jo chahoge woh karungi. Bas unhe bacha lo. 

(I will do whatever you want. Just save him.) 

I cry the whole journey. We finally arrive Suryagarh and chaos ensues. 

The veil is lifted and Viraj looking somber, looks inside and says, 

'Bhabhisaa, aaiye. Agam ko vaidya ke paas le jaiya jaa raha hai.' 

'Bhabhisa, come. Agam is being taken to the doctor.' 

I nod my head and lower my head then getting out. I follow him while silently crying and praying to Bappa. 

We go to medic room where Yuvraj is lying down and doctors are working on him. 

People are running here and there, providing doctors everything. 

I enter further standing beside his bed and looking down his face but I frown when I see blue lips. 

Is he poisoned? I gain attention of one doctors by my bangles, when they look at me with frown, I indicate at his lips. 

Seeing that, his eyes widen he checks him and confirm my suspicion, 

'It looks like Yuvraj has been poisoned too.' 

Viraj and Ekansh looks at each other shocked. 

Suddenly I hear a cry of anguish which brings me to tears. Its all my fault. 

Bua-sa comes inside, crying hard and sits down on the floor beside his bed and saying blubberly, 

'Ye kya hogaya Agam aapko, aap hume chhod ke kahi nahi jaa sakte, apni Bua-sa ko chod ke nahi jaa sakte hai, aapko anumati nahi hai.' 

'What happened to you Agam, you can't leave us and go anywhere, you can't leave your aunt, you are not allowed.' 

I see Bapusaa sitting down, looking so distraught, he puts his head in his hands. 

Avantika enters and slide down on the floor not having the courage to see him like this and starts to cry. 

Naina tries to look after Bua-sa, Bapusaa and Avantika but not crying at all. 

Suddenly Viraj goes to her and spins her around and say angrily, 

'You don't have to act strong all the time, you are human, stop thinking of everyone for one second and let yourself feel the pain. You are also allowed to break.' 

She looks at him like she is in haze but at his words she breaks and starts crying, when she goes to fall in his arms, Ekansh comes and take her from him. 

I just feel like I am not there and it is only happening in my nightmare. 

It doesn't feel real. I am standing like a statue and observing everything but not feeling anything. 

Suddenly I feel a hard slap on my face which brings me out of the haze. 

I bring my hand to my cheek where I am slapped and look up to see Bua-sa with angry and murderous eyes. 

She screams and say, 

'Tumne ye sab kiya hai na? Unke mana karne ke baad bhi tum Agam ko mahal ke bahar leke gayi kyunki tum unhe marna chahti thi. 

'You have done all this, right? Even after his refusal, you took Aagam outside the palace because you wanted to kill him. 

Jo kaam tumhara baap nahi kar saka woh tum karne chali, isiliye toh shaadi karke yaha aayi. Aur ab yaha rone dhone ka dikhawa kar rahi ho.' 

You started doing the work that your father could not do, that is why you got married and came here. And now here you are pretending to cry.' 

I can't refuse what she is saying because some part of it is true. I was going to hurt Yuvraj and draw him out. 

Now because of me he is there, if I hasn't done that he wouldn't be in this position. 

I realized too late that if he can sacrifice his life for me then he can never knowingly hurt me. 

Bua-sa shakes me violently and slaps me one more time, crying and speaking together, 

'Mil gayi aapke kaleje ko thandak, hogaya pratishodh pura aapka, maar diya humare bacche ko.' 

'Your revenge is complete, you killed our child.' 

Her words are just making me fall deeper in the well of despair and agony, and I just can't help myself out. 

I let her take her anger out on me, I look around to see everyone's expression of disgust for me, even in Naina and Bapusaa's eyes. 

Once they supported me and gave their trust to me but I played with their trust and took their most precious thing from them. 

I lost their trust and respect for me and thats my fault. 

When Bua-sa goes to slap me again, I stand still letting her slap me but Viraj comes forward and stops her hand saying angrily, 

'Stop, enough. Now you will not slap her.' 

She looks at him in disbelief and asks him, 

'Can't you see that because of her you have lost your best friend?' 

He looks at me with cold face that I can't determine what he is thinking then he turns to Bua-sa and say with calm voice, 

'We don't know what exactly happened there and she is not in the state to answer anything.' 

When she goes to protest he continues on, 

'Secondly she is Agam's wife and only he has the right to punish her and... even touch her. So nobody will even think about touching her. 

Because you will find me and Ekansh standing to get through to her. It is an unspoken promise between us that if he is not here then we will protect his wife with our life.' 

I look at him with shocked eyes at his words. 

His words just make me feel even worse and I fall on the floor on my bottom just thinking about what I was going to do to Yuvraj. 

I close my eyes and let the tears fall down rapidly. 

Why, why didn't I listen to my gut feeling which was saying that what I am going to do is wrong. 

I don't want anything I just want him to wake up, wipe my ears and cradle me to himself, making me feel wanted. 

Seeing me with those soft eyes is what I want from him. 

Please Bappa save him, I won't ever doubt him I promise, I promise. 

Please save him. 

I curl into myself and pray for him. The pain is too unbearable. 

It feels like someone is pinching my heart again and again painfully. I can't even draw a breath. 

'Its good for everyone else that no one dares to approach her or we won't be responsible of our actions.' 

I look up to see everyone's shocked reaction at Viraj, Bua-sa glares at me. 

She moves and starts throwing things around. Bapusaa stands up and tries to hold her saying, 

'Surekha apne upar vash laiye, ye kya kar rahi hai?' 

'Surekh, control yourself, what are you doing?'

She screams and points out at my direction while saying, 

'If she stays here any long I will not calm down. I want her out of my sight right this moment.' 

Bapusaa looks at me for the first time with disgust and anger and I deserve every drop of it. 

Ekansh crouches in front of me and says in soothing voice, 

'Bhabhisaa, it will be in favour of everyone if you go to your room until everyone calm down.' 

I panic at that, I can't leave him like this not when he was with me till end. 

How can he think I will leave him alone? 

I want to be in his presence to remind myself that he will come back to me. 

I shake my head frantically. 

He placate me and says in a whisper, 

'Let everything calm down then I myself will come and bring you here to meet him, okay?' 

Swati comes forward and crouches in front of me then says, 

'He is right, Bai-sa. Everything is in chaos, let it all calm down then we will come here or people here will continue this then Yuvraj's peaceful treatment will be hindered.' 

I don't want that to happen but one person is so immersed in hate that she doesn't care that she is hurting Yuvraj right now. 

So I nod my head and walk out of there feeling their heated, angry glares burning hole in my back. 

The moment I enter my room the memories of Yuvraj and mine slam into me which knocks out the breath out of me. 

I collapse on the floor with heaving sobs. 

I feel someone hugging me from behind but its not the arms of the person I want the most. 

I want Yuvraj's arms around me to provide comfort to me. 

Swati makes me stand up and places me on the bed. I lean my head back and my eyes fall on the couch where I was sleeping. 

I distanced myself and if I lose him I will surely regret not spending my time with him. 

I remember our first conversation on sleeping arrangement. 

'What are you doing? Just because I told you to choose that time, you took it seriously and put your hands on me to eat.' 

A smile graces my lips at that memory. 

His way of talking always embarasses me like he had done in the dining room, when I had seen a made bite in front of me held by Yuvraaj. 

When I didn't move he said, 

'Mohini, iss niwale ko khana hai, hume nahi.'  

'Mohini, this morsel has to be eaten, not me.' 

'Hum toh bas aapki duvidha hal kar rahe the ki abhi kya khana hai, baad mein akele mein jo khana hai aapko aap chun lijiyega.'  

'I was just clearing your confusion as to what eat right now, afterwards you can choose.' 

In the ashram too, 

'Hume aisa kyun lagane laga hai ki aapko khane se aadhik hume hi, khane ki bhook hai? Ek bar apni aankhon se bol dijiye Mohini hum aapke liye ye mumkin karke dikha denge.'  

'Why do I think that you are hungry for me more than the food? Tell me once with your eyes Mohini, I will make this possible for you.' 

How he praised me when no one came forward. 

How he expected nothing and spent the time with me beside the pond during our journey to Kuldevta Mandir. 

How he always showed me with his eyes how much he wanted but always held himself back for my sake. 

'Chinta mat kariye jab tak aap khud nahi chahengi, hum kuchh nahi karenge.' 

'Don't worry as long as you don't want, I won't touch you.' 

I lean my head back while remembering those moments. 

He always desired me but I always doubted him even though his desire made me feel beautiful. 

'Aapko lagta hai ki ye shisha aapko humse ya humari khayalon se bacha lega?'  

'You think this mirror will protect you from me or my thoughts for you?' 

'Ek baar ho toh sanjog hota hai, dusri baar ho toh bhagaya hota hai, lekin baar baar ho, toh sochi samjhi yojna.'  

'Once it happens, it's a coincidence, the second time it happens, it's fate, but if it happens again and again, it's a well thought out plan.' 

'Toh aap ne kamre mein aane ki pratiksha ki apna chunav batane ke liye, ki aapko hume khane ki bhook adhik hai.'  

'So you waited to come into the room to tell me your choice, that you are more hungry to eat me.' 

'Lagta hai aaj aap jaan lene ke irade se chal rahi hai.' 

'It seems that today you are planning to take lives.' 

'Aapki sundarta itni anmol hai ki kisi ki bhi aankhein inhe dekhne ke layak nahi hai aur naa hi, inhe dekhne ki anumati hai.' 

'Your beauty is so precious that no one's eyes are worthy of seeing it, nor are they allowed to see it.' 

'You are not beautiful just from outside but also inside.'  

I know that at first night he left me and had gone to someone else. 

That time he believed me as his enemy too which is right since I was married to him by deceit. 

But after that he has done his best to give me benefit of doubt. 

When he blamed me for his mother's burnt paintings and I was hurt but when he got to know the truth he groveled to me. 

He realised his mistake and didn't sweep it under the rug instead he apologized the best he could. 

I remember how he brought that sweet dish for me. 

'I heard you are missing your home and this is your favourite that reminds you of your home state. So I asked master cook to make it for you. 

I also wanted to apologize to you for what I did to you without even listening to you.' 

But what I did. 

'Take this and distribute in servant's quarter after offering it to God. I don't want this because now my preferences and likeness has all changed.' 

His face looked in pain for a moment then he made his face all blank.  

But I was so angry and broken at that time that I just dismissed his efforts and started working on his demise. 

He had been hurt but he didn't try to show narcissim when I refused nor he got angry. 

I never in my investigation gave him benefit of doubt. 

I start to cry realizing that his feelings for me changed to being his enemy to his wife who he respects. 

I don't know about love but he did care for me deeply. 

My eyes fall on his kurta on top of closed trunk. 

I trudge towards it, pick it up and sniff it. 

His smell is in there, his woodsy and all him, smell is there. 

I take the kurta with me to bed, lay down on my stomach and hold the kurta close to me while crying. 

I don't know how much time has passed when I suddenly feel a hand on my back I look up to see Swati with worried gaze looking at me. 

I lie down again because I wanted Yuvraj to be here in place of her. 

She worriedly says, 

'Bai-sa, its morning, get freshen up and eat something.' 

I get angry, there Yuvraj is fighting for his life because of me and she wants me to eat something. 

I just shake my head and bury my head in his kurta deeper. 

She shakes me lightly and says worriedly, 

'Bai-sa don't do this to yourself, what will I answer to Yuvraj when he wakes up if something happened to you.' 

I know she is right but I have no desire to look after myself. 

'Bhabhisaa.' 

I look up to see Ekansh standing there with a small smile. 

I stand up abruptly and go to him. 

I sign as Swati translates, 

'Can I please go and see Yuvraj, please? I can't stay without him right now. Please let me see him.' 

He smiles and says, 

'I have convinced everyone to rest for now so you have time to meet him.' 

I look at Swati and sign while fearing the answer, 

'How is his condition?' 

His smile falters but he pastes it back and says, 

'He has been poisoned through those arrows but nothing major has been hit. But--' 

His but has stopped my relief. 

I look at him and encourage him to speak. He hesitatingly speak, 

'He has bled a lot and the type of poison used on him is too strong.' 

My heartbeat quickens at that, conjuring all sort of painful scenarios. 

He quickly speaks seeing my panic, 

'But the doctors are saying that with correct treatment and time, we will pull him back. Right now they need him unconscious.' 

I calm down a little at that then rush off from there to medic room. 

I enter to find doctors still working on countering the effect of poison. 

I go to the bed and sit beside him. 

His face has gone all blue, lips are parched. He looks so frail and weak. 

Not like the strong, brave and ruthless Yuvraj I know. 

I don't like this version of him. 

I lay down beside him and take his hand in mine while praying to Bappa. 

Please give me my husband back. I want him back, no, I need him back. 

I look at our hands as I tangle his with mine when my eyes fall on his empty middle finger. 

I sit up abruptly and look at his another hand, that hand also didn't have that unique blue ring. 

My heartbeat quickens thinking, where that ring go when Yuvraj never takes off anything given to him by Bapusaa. 

I didn't imagine that ring on his finger that time, I had felt it there even. 

No my wild imaginations can't be responsible for our this state. 

Now I have to find out the real truth with all facts, unbiased by my feelings towards him and Bapusaa. 

But first I have to find out where did that ring go from his hand and why? 

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