Mohini POV
I could feel the distance after our journey back to Suryagarh these past 11 days.
He doesn't talk to me, he isn't even free to see me, at night he comes so late that I fall asleep, in the morning I still find myself on him.
But he wakes up later than me so we didn't get to see at all, he is putting a distance between us.
I don't know what happened between coming from there to here. I am frustrated. He just asked about my injuries for one week which has already healed by now.
It looks like we take 2 steps forward in our marriage and the next moment we are taking 4 steps backward.
Right now, Naina is showing some of the lehangas she purchased from her recent visit to Jyotsar, Viraj devarsa's kingdom.
Naina says,
'You should choose some lehangas for yourself and start preparations.'
I look at her with a confused frown. She sees it and says with her own frown,
'Oh, you don't know? After 2 weeks, we have Agam's coronation as King and your coronation as Queen.'
She pinches my chin adoringly and smiles.
Maybe that's why Yuvraaj is so distanced. He must be under so much pressure to take the throne.
I should be considerate and thoughtful rather than pouting at the distance created between us.
I decide to handle the preparations and decoration of palace for coronation with Naina's help. I expressed my this desire to her.
She enthusiastically agreed to help me and make new plans.
Naina stands up, saying,
'Aap ne jo lehnge pasand kiye hai woh aapke kamre bhejwa denge. Ab aap hume bataiye ki yahan rehte hue aapne pura mahal ghooma ya nahi.'
'The lehengas you have liked will be sent to your room. Now tell me whether you visited the entire palace while staying here or not?'
After my return here, Naina had headed to Jyotsar with Viraj Devarsa to meet his father and take care of him as he has been ill.
She came back after seeing improvment in his health. She hasn't been here after my return so I haven't explored much because she give me security of love and warmth.
I shake my head.
She frowns and says,
'Kyun.....? Chaliye koi baat nahi, aaj hum aapko iss mahal ke sabse sundar bhag dikhate hai. Suryagarh humse milne jo aata hai, usse hum jarur yaha ki sair karate hai.'
'Why.....? No need to tell, today I will show you the most beautiful part of this palace. Whoever comes to meet us in Suryagarh, we will definitely show them this place.'
She takes my hand and makes me follow her, and Swati follows us.
We go on ground floor then across the main inner garden to huge airy room. When I stepped inside, I am assaulted by the smell of old paints.
It is an art room decorated with beautiful and decorative items and paintings.
She tells me to wash my hands, but my mahavar-painted hand dripped red water.
Naina sees it and says,
'Oh no, I didn't see your mahavar(red makeup paint) painted hand, try not to touch anything, okay?'
I nod my head and keep my hands to myself.
Naina spreads her hands wide, saying,
'This is Agam's mother's art room. She was a very talented artist, she had even started art program to teach art to women and men.
After she died, the art program eventually died, but every year on her birthday, an art festival is held in Suryagarh and all these arts, especially made by her, are displayed for our people to see and admire.'
The art room is big, and the artistry shows how talented Yuvraj's mother was. Naina continued on,
'Her art program created many sources of living and trade. After her, those trades were really affected.
We are going to start soon, Suryagarh has just gotten stable, we are planning many education and job opportunities.'
She shows me the favourites of Rani-sa, Agam, and Baapu-sa.
She shows me the potrait of his mother. She looks so beautiful, even from picture she looks to be all warm and smiles.
I ask her in signs,
'Do you like to do painting or any art?'
She shakes her head smilingly and says,
'I tried, but art is not for me. I am decent in that, but Avantika knows all types of art; she took inspiration from Rani-sa's art only.
I am more into reading, like literature, history, politics, romance, etc. Are you interested in art?'
I tell in signs,
'No, I am more into sewing designs on clothes and herbs, their medicinal uses.'
She turns excited and says,
'You have to show me some time. I would love to see your art.'
I just nod my head while smiling at her.
An attendee comes inside saying,
'Chhoti Rajkumari, your books have arrived, and Prince Viraj is setting them on your shelves by going through them, even though we told him that you don't like anyone to go through the books.'
She flushes, then looks at me with near panic and says,
'It won't be a problem if you go through the art room without me? Just don't touch anything with that hand.'
As soon as I shake my head, she dashes away with the attendee on her heels. I frown and think about the odd dynamic between Naina and Viraj devarji-sa.
I tell Swati to prepare for Ekansh Devarji-sa's arrival with sweets and gifts of Ambaragarh from a friend of Bapusa.
Something flashes in her eyes, but it vanishes in a second, like I imagined it.
She nods and goes from there. I wander deeper when I heard unclear, urgent whispers. I try to follow it to the window facing outer garden.
The whispers are loud, angry but I can't decipher what they are saying. I try to move more closer to window when I collide with diya stand.
Before it falls, I catch it with my hand, straighten it, leaving red prints of my hand on it.
When I again try to focus on the whispers, I realize that they are gone and faded sound of footsteps could be heard.
Maybe she made a noise, but then why would they hide and talk, then run away?
I run to window and stretch out my face trying to see the person but him/her already left.
Suddenly, I hear a crash and a burning smell, then the sound of an anklet from behind me.
I turn around to see the same diya stand fallen on Rani-sa's portrait, burning the portrait.
I became horrified, then scared. I know how much this portrait is important to Yuvraj.
Naina had told me while dressing my wound that my accident must have triggered unpleasant memories of his mother and how much he loves her.
I come out of my shock and try to put out the fire with my hand, there are no heavy clothes here and I can't use my dupatta as it is flammable.
I then remember the water bowl in which I washed my hands. I go and bring the bowl and throw it on the fire, but the fire has already spread to other paintings.
I go and try the door, but it isn't opening, which means somebody locked me inside.
I hate the feeling of helplessness this muteness causes me. I accepted my reality, but it doesn't mean I like the chaos that this reality brings.
I run to the window, pushing the curtains away and throwing the heavy bowl outside, making a loud sound.
A soldier comes to see chaos. When he sees me, his eyes widen, and then I indicate inside, moving aside so he can see the fire.
He turns scared, runs from there. I know he is bringing help.
So I try to put off the fire by separating the burning portraits from others.
I go to the door, just as I was going to try the door, it is pushed open by Yuvraj, rushing to the paintings, calling,
'MAA-SA!!!'
Quickly, he is followed by soldiers carrying water, Viraj, Ekansh, Naina, Avantika, and Swati.
They put out the fire, but many portraits of his mother were burned. Tears brimmed in my eyes seeing such an anguished expression on his face.
He asks in a deadly voice after attendees leave,
'Inhe yaha kaun lekar aaya?'
'Who brought her here?'
Naina swallows and then steps forward, saying,
'Hum inhe yaha lekar aaye the.'
'I brought her here.'
He asks with his face still lowered and in the same tone,
'Why?'
Naina frowns, then answers,
'Why? She is your wife; that is all the reason you need. I just wanted to show her the most beautiful part of this palace.'
He looks at her with a deadly look, making her flinch and saying in a loud voice,
'Did you forget she is the enemy's daughter?'
His question punches me in the heart, and I stagger back, colliding with Swati. She wraps her arms around me.
Naina says with an authoritative voice,
'You can't be serious, Agam. She won't burn those portraits.'
I shake my head, signing which Swati tells them with a shaky voice,
'Bai-sa is saying, she didn't burn those portraits.'
His dark, angry gaze swung to me, looking like he wants to kill me. Naina speaks up,
'See, she is saying she didn't do that. It can be an accident, Agam.'
He looks back at her with disbelief, saying,
'Durghatna? Aisi durghatna jo itne saalon mein kabhi nahi huyi par aaj huyi wo bhi inke rehte huye.
'Accident? Such an accident, which had never happened in so many years, but happened today, and that too during her presence.
Din ke ujale mein jalte diye ka kya kam hota hai, Naina. Jab aap yahan aayi thi tab kya yeh diya jal raha tha?'
What is the use of a lamp burning in broad daylight, Naina? Was this lamp burning when you came here?'
He ends up yelling at her.
She tries to remember, then flusteredly speaks,
'I..I..don't...I don't know, don't remember. I didn't notice. It can be an accident.'
I repeatedly shake my head to say that I didn't do it with tears falling from my eyes because of the pain of Yuvraj's hate and accusation against me.
He looks around the mess when he sees the stand carefully, then at my hands. He looks at Naina and says,
'You say that this is an accident, then how come her hand prints are on the stand? Huh, Naina?'
He comes near me, making my eyes widen. He takes me roughly from Swati.
He holds my forearms tighter, shaking me while yelling the question,
'Yahi karne ke liye aapko uss Pankaj Rao ne yaha bheja hai, na? Hume dard pahuchane ke liye? Humse humari sabse pyari vastu chhinne ke liye?'
'This is what Pankaj Rao has sent you here to do, right? To cause me pain? To snatch away my most precious thing from us?'
I try to free myself, but he just holds me more painfully, continuing on,
'Jo kaam wo waha pe baith ke nahi kar sakta woh kam karne ke liye aapko yahan bheja hai. Hume andar se dard dena, andar se khokhla karne.
'He has sent you here to do the work which he cannot do sitting there. To give me pain from within, to hollow me from within.
'Itne samay aap yahi toh pata laga rahi thi ki hume apni Maa-sa se kitna prem hai aur unki har vastu se, isliye aapne ye sab kiya, na?
'All this time you were finding out how much I love my mother and her everything, that's why you did all this, right?
'Kya mila aapko ye sab kar, Mohini? Kya mila....?'
'What did you get by doing all this, Mohini? What did you get....?'
His voice ended in a broken whisper as if he is on the verge of crying. I shake my head repeatedly.
His hands loosen, then he hides his face in my bosom. I just want to wrap my arms around him and comfort him.
He looks up at me with dead, angry eyes, removes his hands, then speaks in a dead voice,
'You want to play the emotional game, Mohini?'
'Aapne humse humari sabse pyaari vastu chhini, ab hum aapke saath bhi wahi karenge.'
'You took away my most precious thing from me, now I will do the same to you.'
He comes closer, saying,
'An eye for an eye.'
He leaves along with Viraj and Ekansh. Avantika is glaring daggers at me while Naina is looking at me doubtfully.
I explained through Swati that I collided with the stand and I steadied it that's why my handprints are there.
She nods her head, believing me.
Then I remember Yuvraj's an eye for an eye comment. Fear fills me at what he is doing. I run pushing Swati out of my way.
I enter my room to find Yuvraj finding my every potrait of Dada and my friends, throwing it on the floor.
I turn, horrified, seeing this. I try to stop him, but he commands Viraj without even looking at me,
'Jab tak humara kaam pura na ho jaye, tab tak inhe pakde rahiye.'
'Hold her until my work is done.'
Viraj holds me back while I buck and kick. He pours oil on them when Naina enters with Swati.
She sees Yuvraj burning the portraits, and she moves forward, yelling at Yuvraj,
'AGAM, ye kya kar rahe hai? Mat kariye ye sab.'
'Agam, what are you doing? Don't do all this.'
He orders Ekansh to hold her and spears a glance at Swati to stop her, then he burns them while Naina screams to stop Yuvraj, and I cry seeing my last thing of Dada burning.
Viraj leaves me, and I fall forward. The three of them walk out of there.
I try to put off the fire while crying immensely.
Dada. No, Dada. You can't burn. These are your last things which I have with me.
Naina and Swati try to stop me, but I disengage from them to put out the fire while burning myself.
Avantika pours water of two bowls on it. I look at her seeing the same anguish reflected back in her eyes.
I gather all the burnt one and hug them to me. Avantika walks out while Swati and Naina hugs me and cry with me.
After some time, we three move away. Naina helps me to sit on the bed.
I am feeling numb, after crying so much, but I know the moment I am alone, I will cry again.
When he said earlier during our wedding night that he is known cold and ruthless for a reason, and I will soon find out, I didn't expect this.
I was a fool to think that this marriage can work. He will always see me as his enemy's daughter and nothing else.
I shouldn't have trusted him, I was made a fool in the name of love before and I am made fool again.
I was so desperate for this marriage to work that I forgot his warning.
Avantika enters with a bowl and strips of clothes. She keeps it on the table, saying,
'That is a herbal, cooling paste for second-degree burns. Apply it to her hand, then wrap it up. First, clean the burn.'
Naina looks at her, smiles, and says,
'Thank you.'
She looks at her and says,
'Humne ye sab isliye kar rahe hai, kyunki jo Agam ne abhi kiya wo galat hai.'
'I am doing all this because what Agam just did is wrong.'
She then looks at me and says,
'Par iska matlab ye nahi ki hum aap par vishwas kar rahe hai ya phir hume ye shak nahi ki, aapne wo chitra jalayi hai.'
'But this does not mean that I believe you or that I do not doubt that you have burnt that picture.'
She then walks out.
I don't bother to explain to her because I have already given the punishment for the deeds I haven't done.
Nobody will ever believe me.
Whatever wrong will happen will be pushed on my shoulders only, as I am the enemy's daughter and nothing else.
Not Prince's wife, not this family's daughter-in-law, not Suryagarh's future queen.
After Naina cleans my burns and wraps them up, I request that Swati and Naina to leave me alone.
They both reluctantly leave.
I close the door, take my pictures, and sit down by the window, and start crying.
The memories slam into me.
How we used to play, how we would stay up all night, sneaking up to the terrace?
How he used to bring modaks for me by stealing during Ganesha puja, how he used to feed me food sometimes?
How he used to apply herbal paste on my wounds, how he used to hold me during nightmares after our Aai's death?
How he used to make me laugh when I would cry, how he used to take all my punishments from Baba to protect me?
How he used to teach me self-defense tricks, how he used to take care of my education and hobbies?
How he used to help me in the kitchen and would try new dishes made by me, how he used to care of me when I would be sick?
How he become my Aai after Aai's death?
I let it all out, betrayal, pain of losing Dada, my hell life, and I cried, wishing that Dada can be here, then he would wipe my tears and say that everything will be alright.
I refuse the food and do not open the door when Swati comes so many times.
I lock myself away and cry away the whole day and night away. I don't know when, but I fall asleep on the couch holding burnt portraits.
Sunlight flashes on me from the window.
My eyes feel crusty, and it is slightly painful to open my eyes. I rub my eyes to see its next day.
Today is Bapusaa's birthday.
Bapusaa, Naina, and Swati don't deserve anything bad because from the start, they accepted me wholeheartedly.
I go get ready after bathing and change into a bush colour green lehenga.
I enter Bapusaa's room with Swati and hid my palms in my dupatta.
He looks at me, smilingly saying,
'Arre, Mohini, andar aaiye.'
'Oh, Mohini, come inside.'
I smile at him, but he takes one look at my face and asks with a frown,
'Kya hua? Aapka chehra itna utara hua kyun hai? Agam ne kuch kiya hai?'
'What happened? Why is your face so sad? Has Agam done something?'
I shake my head and stretch my smile to make it believable. He still doesn't look like he trusts the smile.
I am sure it is looking creepy now, so I bow dow,n take his blessings, and make Swati speak for me,
'Janamdin ki shubhkamanayein, Bapusaa.'
He smiles this time, blessing me.
I give him my present, gold encrusted Lord Ganesha small statue made in my state by Swati so I don't have to show my hands.
He takes it, admires it, and keeps it beside his bed.
He looks at me and says,
'This is a very special gift for me, Mohini.'
We talk for a few more minutes, then I come out of his room to go to Bua-sa.
She looks at me, hides her disdain, but says,
'Accha hua aap khud aa gayi. Aaj Bhaisaa ka janamdin hai issliye humare yahan teen din tak hum apni praja ko avashyakta ka saman dete hai.
'It's good that you came yourself. Today is Bhaisa's birthday, which is why we provide necessary goods to our people for three days.
'Aaj katha hogi phir 21 brahmino ko khana khilaya jaega. Jabtak saare brahmin khana na kha le aap kuch nahi khaengi.'
'Today, there will be a storytelling ritual, and then 21 Brahmins will be fed food. You will not eat anything until all the Brahmins have eaten.'
She turns away then, her way of dismissing me.
I am going to my room when Swati says,
'Bai-sa, you haven't eaten since yesterday. I don't think you should keep fast today.'
I shake my head because I am going to do it for Bapusaa.
She sighs but doesn't push me, I tell her to see for herself whether everything is perfect or not.
She goes, and I enter my room to find Yuvraaj sitting on the bed and staring at me like he was waiting for me to come.
The anger is no less in his eyes than in mine.
Fuck this marriage. I don't care about this marriage or him.
And he will soon figure it out.
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